National Brotherhood Week

Living in the South I take certain things for granted, such as iced tea will always be sweet, grits are for breakfast, and the people are friendly. This last one is something that I think more of us Southerns take for granted than we realize. On several trips up North to visit family, my family and I have walked into any number of McDonald’s on a bathroom break and been surprised – if not shocked and embarrassed for the person behind the counter – when we witness an angry customer yelling at the poor clerk. We don’t know why but there they are, yelling like the person behind the counter just insulted their grandmother.

And what is the first thing I do? I check the accent. I know I shouldn’t but every stereotype as a grain of truth in it. Rarely does this person sound like they are from the South. (Although, neither do I - even with two Yankee parents you would think that having grown-up in the South I would have developed a slight accent but no; I remain accent free.) Northerners are known – in the South, anyway – for being loud and unpleasent, not that we don’t have our moments but football is a big deal down here.

My family and I get to our destination and spend a few days with our Northern half and sometime time during our stay it will happen. Whether we are walking down the street or in a store, I will make eye contact with someone and smile or wave because that’s what you do. If you make eye contact you acknowledge the other person and move on. My cousins can never understand this phenomenon.

“Do you know them?” one of them will say.

“Well, no,” I say.

“Then why did you wave?”

“Because we made eye contact and it was the nice thing to do?”

Their amazement at this gesture baffles me but then I think back to the angry Northerner in the McDonald’s and in my head I say, “Oh yeah.” Once again, I know I shouldn’t make this assumption. I love my Northern family and I have been in plenty of places in the North where the people are just as friendly as back in the South. So why do I automatically try to hear the accent in the angry customer at McDonald’s?

Stereotypes are based mostly on the bad qualities of a certain group of people. Rarely do stereotypes – or at least the ones I am aware of – focus on the good aspects of the human condition. Chances are that it has more to do with the history between certain groups of people. I am no history major so I will not begin to try to guess what those histories are but it makes sense. We see one individual and judge them either based on looks or their accent or any number of other things about them that are only evident from the outside.

This week is National Brotherhood Week. Some of you have perhaps heard the song by Tom Lehrer with the same title; Lehrer’s song satirizes the week (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGGMi0fTXvA – don’t listen to this song in a public area unless you are prepared to explain yourself) but I think there is something to be gained from celebrating this week. After all, how can you make connections with people if all you are doing is silently judging them because they come from a different part of the country than you? You can’t. So put aside the prejudices and ask them if they want a cup of tea. Whether they like it sweet or unsweet, hot or cold, they are human beings and so are you.